So this is the first blog that I have done. So we will see how well I keep up with it. lol
The last 7 months of my life have been a struggle. Some good times, some hard times and some lessons learned.
First of all, the very hardest trial in my life occurred. My wonderful, loving, caring Dad passed away. Still not quite sure how. He had come home from the hospital after his 17Th surgery. This surgery (hip replacement) should have been his last one to completely fix him since his car accident in Feb 2002. Little did we know, it was his last and now he is completely healed and will never be in physical pain again.
Losing him has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I wish we could have had so much more time with him. He was taken from us way to soon. I know that God has bigger plans for him and I struggle with that every day.
My kids are having a hard time as well. Last night I heard Kaleb crying. I went and got him and brought him into bed with me and just held him and talked to him. It breaks my heart that he hurts. He said that he misses the pestering that Papa used to give him. And he misses the dutch oven cooking and Papa playing with him at Bear lake. Kaleb was talking about how much fun he had with Papa on the wave runner at Jenn and Tyler's cabin at Bear lake.
When I was talking to Kaleb We heard a sound outside and it was a light rain shower that came through for only minutes. I told Kaleb that I once heard that when rain came like that for only a few short moments, that it was our loved ones in heaven crying because they missed us here on earth. So he felt pretty special knowing that papa was missing him too.
Then there is Austin. He doesn't want to talk about him at all. He wont go to his grave. Since he died in October, after the funeral and stuff was over, Austin has only talked abut him once. He said it is far to hurtful to talk about him. And makes him too sad. But the one time he did talk about him, he showed me a paper that he had been keeping notes on. He would write down his memories of Papa when they would come to him. I think Austin is more like James when dealing with death. Quiet and reserved. Trying to be there for everyone else. Being strong for those around you. I am very proud of the young man that Austin is turning into. And for the man he wants to be.
I am so blessed to have and have had, great men in my life. My dad was the first great man in my life. He taught me so many lessons. My Grandpa Paul. That is where my dad learned from. My grandpa is beyond words on how great he is. My Uncle Denzil. He is the man i turn to now when I would have turned to my dad. I have so many fond memories of him when I was a young girl. My Brother Brady. He is always there for me when I need him. He bought a home in Smithfield a few years ago. and months later when the house next door was on the market we bought it. It is so nice living next door. My kids love having their uncles house to just run over too. And last but certainly not least. My hubby. James. He is so wonderful! Words fail me when I try to describe him. I have been married to him for over 15 years. We have been through our own share of trials. But we have a very strong marriage because of it. He is my tower of strength that has gotten me through this very trying time. He is a wonderful dad to our boys. He is such a wonderful husband. I am very proud of him for all that he does for our family. And for all that he provides for us. He is the go to guy in my family. And they all love him dearly for it. As do I!
The last 7 months of my life have been a struggle. Some good times, some hard times and some lessons learned.
First of all, the very hardest trial in my life occurred. My wonderful, loving, caring Dad passed away. Still not quite sure how. He had come home from the hospital after his 17Th surgery. This surgery (hip replacement) should have been his last one to completely fix him since his car accident in Feb 2002. Little did we know, it was his last and now he is completely healed and will never be in physical pain again.
Losing him has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I wish we could have had so much more time with him. He was taken from us way to soon. I know that God has bigger plans for him and I struggle with that every day.
My kids are having a hard time as well. Last night I heard Kaleb crying. I went and got him and brought him into bed with me and just held him and talked to him. It breaks my heart that he hurts. He said that he misses the pestering that Papa used to give him. And he misses the dutch oven cooking and Papa playing with him at Bear lake. Kaleb was talking about how much fun he had with Papa on the wave runner at Jenn and Tyler's cabin at Bear lake.
When I was talking to Kaleb We heard a sound outside and it was a light rain shower that came through for only minutes. I told Kaleb that I once heard that when rain came like that for only a few short moments, that it was our loved ones in heaven crying because they missed us here on earth. So he felt pretty special knowing that papa was missing him too.
Then there is Austin. He doesn't want to talk about him at all. He wont go to his grave. Since he died in October, after the funeral and stuff was over, Austin has only talked abut him once. He said it is far to hurtful to talk about him. And makes him too sad. But the one time he did talk about him, he showed me a paper that he had been keeping notes on. He would write down his memories of Papa when they would come to him. I think Austin is more like James when dealing with death. Quiet and reserved. Trying to be there for everyone else. Being strong for those around you. I am very proud of the young man that Austin is turning into. And for the man he wants to be.
I am so blessed to have and have had, great men in my life. My dad was the first great man in my life. He taught me so many lessons. My Grandpa Paul. That is where my dad learned from. My grandpa is beyond words on how great he is. My Uncle Denzil. He is the man i turn to now when I would have turned to my dad. I have so many fond memories of him when I was a young girl. My Brother Brady. He is always there for me when I need him. He bought a home in Smithfield a few years ago. and months later when the house next door was on the market we bought it. It is so nice living next door. My kids love having their uncles house to just run over too. And last but certainly not least. My hubby. James. He is so wonderful! Words fail me when I try to describe him. I have been married to him for over 15 years. We have been through our own share of trials. But we have a very strong marriage because of it. He is my tower of strength that has gotten me through this very trying time. He is a wonderful dad to our boys. He is such a wonderful husband. I am very proud of him for all that he does for our family. And for all that he provides for us. He is the go to guy in my family. And they all love him dearly for it. As do I!
For your first blog I have got to say that it was awesome! I'm so proud to be a part of yours and our kids lives. I will always be there for you in happy times, sad times and all times in between. We've definitely seen our share of trials, but like you've always told me...God only gives you what you can handle. I love you! And keep writing :)
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